Good to be back!

It has been 6 months since we moved up to our property and I’m am nearly over my shell shock. A lot has changed in the last 6 months and one of these brave days I will go back and read my posts here to give myself some perspective.  The last 6 months in short:

Really!

As of 12:35pm yesterday, the trailer is ours.

So is the rice cooker (& manual), toaster oven, hot pot, 30 year old microwave (& manual), coffee maker, three coffee carafes, numerous silver platters, electric tea kettle, numerous baking dishes, set of 5 mushroom canisters, dishtowels, washcloths, tons of hot pads, etc…. You name it. There are “treasures” here and there, set of 4 bone china bowls, china creamer, teapot & salt/pepper shakers, Tupperware cheese holder, Norwegian enamel-ware, metal colander, nut-chopper and more!!!

Please, don’t tell my hubby!

It’s Ours!!

Okay, tomorrow at noon the trailer will be. Did I say that this is a temporary move, until our house is built? I’m so excited though, that I could live in it forever. I’m hoping that we do live in it a couple of years, save some money, spend some money on the yards, gardens, chicken coop and cows.

Our biggest hurdle, (which isn’t so bad, we will have our own place) is where to sleep everyone. It’s only two bedroom and we have five people. We will put our 8 and 3 year olds in the same room. CC will sleep in her crib in the only other room. Our room. Kicker is, she doesn’t actually sleep in her crib anymore and daddy doesn’t sleep with me anymore. As she is 16months we are going to take this opportunity to move to “break” her.

Our other munchkins had it down in a two to three nights. CC we have tried numerous times (after I’m so exhausted I can’t function anymore), and numerous ways. I feel that all things happen in their time with a little encouragement. We’ve supplied the encouragement and she still isn’t ready. I would like to sleep w/ my hubby again though. This whole building, co-sleep, living w/ his parents has been very trying to our marriage.  I would say to any couple who feels their marriage is infallible: go live with HIS parents for a year. And, bring your kids, the more the merrier.

My hubby will be building a small addition in short order for CC. Until then, he and I will “live” in the living room. I do feel sorry for the eight year old, however. She has really taken to reading and has matured way beyond her little sister. I think that she should get the addition, so that she can stay up later and read and have her own space.

Her father, for some reason, can’t wrap his head around that because he shared a room. His bro. was only two years younger than him, not five.

So, here we are. It has been a very tough week since last post. My husband has been very stressed and has been less than pleasant. We had it out, or tried to, two nights ago. I couldn’t handle his negative behavior and remarks any longer. He is not a talker. Refuses to. Typically it ends in me throwing something, because he tells me I’m being irrational, to go away. That upsets me further, because I WANT to TalK. This happens every two to three years. The next day, yesterday, he was much more like himself. Which is a big relief to me. I’m not sure where I would’ve gone or even what I wouldv’e done next. That was the closest I’ve ever been to leaving. I’m hoping he is back to himself now that the sale is going through tomorrow.

I have been sorting a cleaning. While its a big job and takes a while to do with the kids, I love how clean and organized things are. I can sit and crochet for 15 minutes and not feel guilty that things need done.

Wish me luck!!!

“The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.”- Ben Stein

A passion for change

I chose to blog to have a place to focus and work through decisions that have and haven’t been made yet. There are many as we have done a 180 w/ our lives starting March 2006.There are many topics of which I want to learn a lot more about in being able to work toward living a sustainable and happy life. For both myself and my family. 

I would say right now my primary focus in simplifying. Doing this takes conscious thought daily and the willingness to change things. I’m learning a lot and enjoying breaking out of the stereotypes that we and others (mostly family) have set for us over the years.I do have my challenges, which result in the previous negative blog.

We chose to live with our in-laws while building our house. Here we are a year later. The whole process is taking sooo long. From approval to sub-diving my in-laws land to gifting us our acreage, drilling the well, getting electricity, house plans, ahhh… It can be overwhelming. And, has been.

While my in-laws are good people, my mother-in-law is in medicine and hasn’t even given it a thought that there are other ways to do things than her way. She has been the country wife, mom, breadwinner and community champion for 35 years. I greatly respect her for all those titles. She earned her retirement last year but will not take it for a variety of reasons. She says mostly money, insurance, however my hubby who is very close to his mother says that she wouldn’t know what to do with herself and couldn’t hang out with her husband all day.

She is the boss at her place of employment and has been for 25 years.  She is tired, her health is staring to fail and she comes home cranky each night with a martyr complex. Much to everyone’s surprise, from the very beginning I have been the one she takes most of this out on. Passively. This has never been the way I do things. You do not get to be an Executive Director by being passive.

She treats me like I’m 18 and one of her charges. I for the most part and I hope to my credit, make myself very scarce. This can involve inactive periods that give you time to dwell. Not good. Hence the previous negative post.

My husband’s parents have done us a great service giving us the acreage and letting us stay here. I am very grateful. While we sold our house double the cost we built it for, we cannot afford property, a new house AND paying off our debts. Debts were the biggy for us. This allows me to stay home. Something I have NEVER done. Everyone was quite surprised and still are that I really like staying home and it takes a darn good excuse to get me out.

I am frustrated in the fact that I am still holding a passion to make great changes in our lives. I do what I can from where we are and get shot down here and there. Mostly my self assurance takes hits.

I try to look forward and plan, but truly want to live for today. I’ll wait for the gardens, solar power, making my own cheese & butter and fresh eggs. But I need to find a piece of the life to live now without upsetting the applecart, because truly it is just a matter of time, and, perspective.  Did I tell you about my new pigs?? )

So here I am. I have already soaked up so much from the many blogs in this domain. What a great place to surf and learn.

Comments and suggestions are always welcome!!