Everything has been changing for us in the last two years. Our lives are in constant movement. The money situation as well. Each day is a challenge, one that I look forward to. I am constantly surprised when I realize the excess that our nation lives with and that our family lived with; where our paychecks went.

It is not that we are a stupid people and make these decision consciously. It is that in the last 60 years our nation has built itself on the idea that it’s all there for the taking, so why wait. If you want it, get it. Life, liberty and property. It’s our liberty to spend our property freely, even wantonly, to be able to live our lives to the fullest. We as a nation have been taught this.

Since WWII this is the overriding more’ that each generation has built upon and made easier for the next to live up to. Living “the dream”.  Yes, that’s what our gratuitous lifestyles are called- “the dream”.  Ironically the two thesaraus definitions for gratuitous are unwarranted and free.

Little did I understand what lack of pride and true ownership does that life hold until we started doing w/out. Doing without for two reason. One, because we wanted to. 

By some act of God my husband and I came to a similar understanding after our third child came along that we were not raised in cities dealing with some of the issues our little ones had to endure and that by moving back home and rural, we didn’t have to live life in the fast lane and neither did our kids. We had a choice. What strong words. Try saying that everyday. “I make the choices.”  See what happens. I don’t say that after two years of making choices, I actually taught that. I expected it to work for other people. Never thought about applying it to my own crazy life.

Two, by making a long series of choices, we now have to do w/out. I won’t bitch or moan because we live in a trailer, however temporary. Or that we live paycheck to paycheck, probably not temporary if I want to stay at home and our family debt free.  We made the choice. Or, actually quite a long series of choices.

What does doing w/out mean? Well, I’m finding every week that it means something different. And, honestly, it’s that old saying about why didn’t the frog jump out of the pot before he was boiled to death. Every day the last two years has lived up to this day. Next week, will be an addition of this week.

After doing w/out for long enough, you don’t even think about some of what you are doing w/out. The cravings diminish and you feel as if you are losing your successes in life. Heck, making Executive Director enabled us to by a new car, a new house, a new child may even fit this category. I traded that job in for this life.

Many people may see this as taking a step backward.  I don’t. My husband and I worked hard to get here. Our schooling, degrees, grunt jobs, good paying, emotionally hectic and exciting jobs are all part of our successes and led this family of five to live in this little trailer. If you don’t think so, well, we’re probably not good enough to hang out w/ you anymore anyway, so I’m not even going to worry about it.

What are we doing w/out? While I am proud of our family, my husband especially and feel good about my daily accomplishments in simplicity, sometimes it ways heavy on the soul some of what we consciously decided to give up. Good and bad a few things come to mind-

*We gave up storebought meat and eggs to support our community, do our share in the rising fuel and commodities costs, and eat healthier. Turns out we also save money and the meat tastes better and is fresher. Go figure.

*We don’t eat out and we save money. We save tons of money. If we happen to be out of town and do eat out. More than one of us gets physically sick.

*We gave up a mortgage and car payments.

*We gave up storebought cookies, cakes and breads. I bake all these items now and love it.

*Only one of our two vehicles makes the 16 mile round trip drive to town in any given day. We save tons of money here too. And, I have a great excuse to not go anywhere.

*We gave up our brand new house we built, with its master bath, walk in closets and dining room. Never thought I’d miss a dining room so much.

*We gave up dry roads and sidewalks over country roads, spring break up and mud that sucks your boots off when you step off the porch.

*We gave up a nightlife.

*I gave up 65lbs.

*We gave up prepackaged food for homecooked. Yes, you save a lot of money this way.

*We gave up donuts, Cheetos, pretty much most those foods w/ nuclear levels of preservatives. Yes, we save a lot of money this way too. I swear the more it costs, the more preservatives it has.

*We gave up cable for three primetime stations and two PBS stations.

*We gave up radio stations.

*I gave up an indoor washer and dryer for a set that is a couple hundred feet up the hill from us in the pumphouse. Lots of bootsucking mud.

*I gave up hotwater.

What we’ve gained? Well, I’m still figuring this out. This is where we wonder why the frog didn’t hop out of the boiling pot, with a positive twist. I know my life has greater quality that it ever has. I feel like this is what I’ve been waiting for the last 20 years and where I belong. I’ll be damned if I can tell you all we’ve gained. It feels too natural to me. Like it was always meant to be this way. I still feel that each day I am striving for that simplicity and look for ways daily to work at acheiving it. 

Go figure. I know that my life no way resembles the life I once had. I’m still here and mentally saner that I was previous, contrary to what all thought of me going into this. And, those who said that 34 was too young too retire. I know I’m healthier and so are my family. But there is more we can do, always more.  And, each day and month that goes by we are ready to make one more change or do w/out what we couldn’t have 6 months ago. Amazing how that works and it feels so good.