Done!

The trailer is now ready and waiting and we are waiting to have it moved. It was much easier cleaning it out and cleaning it up than I had imagined. The folks who had previous only had it one year before the husband had a stroke. Unfortunate for these good people and forutnate for me, it has been sitting unused in the resort for four years. My mother is in town and helped watch the kids, which made all the difference in the world.

The mover, Nick, is a nice guy and has been working with us for the last two months. He is saying he hopes to get started the beginning of the week. I CAN”T WAIT!! I have short-timers bad!

This feels like the most important move of my life. It feels like we will finally begin to live the dream we left home so long ago for. I feel like we’ve been floating in purgatory for the last 18 months. For a person who thrives on stability this has been hard.

My relationship with my mother-in-law is shot. I don’t even go down stairs anymore when she gets home from work and on the weekends because I know what lays in wait. Passive-aggressive criticism.  Many things have changed in the last week for me emotional-wise. For the last year I just did it all because I know how busy my MIL is and felt that doing so would ease up her stress. And my husbands. I’m at the point, however, knowing we are leaving ASAP, that I just don’t care. And, this bothers me. I’m hoping that once we leave my feelings of bitterness and dislike for my MIL also will leave.

She is the reason we moved her. My husband is very close to her and she has always been wonderful to the kids. With her retiring this year, we felt that she would be able to enjoy us and the kids and we could help each other out. I’m hoping this is still the case once we leave. I know that she is feeling a lot of the same resentment that I am. Truth be told I’m not proud of it.

I truly cannot wait to wake up in my own home. Clean my own home. Have a kitchen to cook in. All of those things that, when I had my own home, I took for granted. In addition, I can’t wait to do those things we’ve been dreaming about for the last three years: gettting a dog and cat, raising beef, having a milk cow, our own fresh eggs, pretty much whatever we want. You can see where I am heading with this.

My dream is to sell my own produce. I am eager to start planning this and making this become a reality for next year. My husband has his own dreams and both of us simply look forward to making these decsions by ourselves without negative input from anyone else. This is what I’m talking about when I say that the hardest thing for us is to throw our stereotypes. Not just stereotypes family has of us, but those we created for ourselves.

“Oh, you don’t want to get up every day at 5am and milk the cow, we know how much you like your sleep”. Well, yeah, when I was working my !#$ off 10 hours a day at work and then taking care of the family, you bet, I liked my sleep. But, you know what?My family is my only life now and I am truly going to enjoy taking care of our little farm and family.

 ”Why on earth would you want to get your hands dirty collecting eggs?” Man, I’ve got more than one reason, and for just a couple of them, I’m more than happy to get my hands dirty.

So, yes, I’m very excited!! I feel that I’m slipping into a bad place I don’t want to be and can’t wait to start turning things around and bring back all the positive, all the hopes and all the dreams.

Hey, I feel better. Thanks!!