I chose to blog to have a place to focus and work through decisions that have and haven’t been made yet. There are many as we have done a 180 w/ our lives starting March 2006.There are many topics of which I want to learn a lot more about in being able to work toward living a sustainable and happy life. For both myself and my family. 

I would say right now my primary focus in simplifying. Doing this takes conscious thought daily and the willingness to change things. I’m learning a lot and enjoying breaking out of the stereotypes that we and others (mostly family) have set for us over the years.I do have my challenges, which result in the previous negative blog.

We chose to live with our in-laws while building our house. Here we are a year later. The whole process is taking sooo long. From approval to sub-diving my in-laws land to gifting us our acreage, drilling the well, getting electricity, house plans, ahhh… It can be overwhelming. And, has been.

While my in-laws are good people, my mother-in-law is in medicine and hasn’t even given it a thought that there are other ways to do things than her way. She has been the country wife, mom, breadwinner and community champion for 35 years. I greatly respect her for all those titles. She earned her retirement last year but will not take it for a variety of reasons. She says mostly money, insurance, however my hubby who is very close to his mother says that she wouldn’t know what to do with herself and couldn’t hang out with her husband all day.

She is the boss at her place of employment and has been for 25 years.  She is tired, her health is staring to fail and she comes home cranky each night with a martyr complex. Much to everyone’s surprise, from the very beginning I have been the one she takes most of this out on. Passively. This has never been the way I do things. You do not get to be an Executive Director by being passive.

She treats me like I’m 18 and one of her charges. I for the most part and I hope to my credit, make myself very scarce. This can involve inactive periods that give you time to dwell. Not good. Hence the previous negative post.

My husband’s parents have done us a great service giving us the acreage and letting us stay here. I am very grateful. While we sold our house double the cost we built it for, we cannot afford property, a new house AND paying off our debts. Debts were the biggy for us. This allows me to stay home. Something I have NEVER done. Everyone was quite surprised and still are that I really like staying home and it takes a darn good excuse to get me out.

I am frustrated in the fact that I am still holding a passion to make great changes in our lives. I do what I can from where we are and get shot down here and there. Mostly my self assurance takes hits.

I try to look forward and plan, but truly want to live for today. I’ll wait for the gardens, solar power, making my own cheese & butter and fresh eggs. But I need to find a piece of the life to live now without upsetting the applecart, because truly it is just a matter of time, and, perspective.  Did I tell you about my new pigs?? )

So here I am. I have already soaked up so much from the many blogs in this domain. What a great place to surf and learn.

Comments and suggestions are always welcome!!