“The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.”- Ben Stein

A passion for change

I chose to blog to have a place to focus and work through decisions that have and haven’t been made yet. There are many as we have done a 180 w/ our lives starting March 2006.There are many topics of which I want to learn a lot more about in being able to work toward living a sustainable and happy life. For both myself and my family. 

I would say right now my primary focus in simplifying. Doing this takes conscious thought daily and the willingness to change things. I’m learning a lot and enjoying breaking out of the stereotypes that we and others (mostly family) have set for us over the years.I do have my challenges, which result in the previous negative blog.

We chose to live with our in-laws while building our house. Here we are a year later. The whole process is taking sooo long. From approval to sub-diving my in-laws land to gifting us our acreage, drilling the well, getting electricity, house plans, ahhh… It can be overwhelming. And, has been.

While my in-laws are good people, my mother-in-law is in medicine and hasn’t even given it a thought that there are other ways to do things than her way. She has been the country wife, mom, breadwinner and community champion for 35 years. I greatly respect her for all those titles. She earned her retirement last year but will not take it for a variety of reasons. She says mostly money, insurance, however my hubby who is very close to his mother says that she wouldn’t know what to do with herself and couldn’t hang out with her husband all day.

She is the boss at her place of employment and has been for 25 years.  She is tired, her health is staring to fail and she comes home cranky each night with a martyr complex. Much to everyone’s surprise, from the very beginning I have been the one she takes most of this out on. Passively. This has never been the way I do things. You do not get to be an Executive Director by being passive.

She treats me like I’m 18 and one of her charges. I for the most part and I hope to my credit, make myself very scarce. This can involve inactive periods that give you time to dwell. Not good. Hence the previous negative post.

My husband’s parents have done us a great service giving us the acreage and letting us stay here. I am very grateful. While we sold our house double the cost we built it for, we cannot afford property, a new house AND paying off our debts. Debts were the biggy for us. This allows me to stay home. Something I have NEVER done. Everyone was quite surprised and still are that I really like staying home and it takes a darn good excuse to get me out.

I am frustrated in the fact that I am still holding a passion to make great changes in our lives. I do what I can from where we are and get shot down here and there. Mostly my self assurance takes hits.

I try to look forward and plan, but truly want to live for today. I’ll wait for the gardens, solar power, making my own cheese & butter and fresh eggs. But I need to find a piece of the life to live now without upsetting the applecart, because truly it is just a matter of time, and, perspective.  Did I tell you about my new pigs?? )

So here I am. I have already soaked up so much from the many blogs in this domain. What a great place to surf and learn.

Comments and suggestions are always welcome!!

Slow down, smell the roses and enjoy it!

I apologize ahead of time for my crankiness. I need to get this off my shoulders.

It seems that I am often times criticized for taking my time getting things done that I enjoy, such as gardening, outdoor work and taking care of the animals. These are the chores to me that are optional. You are doing them because you have ultimately made the choice do to so. 

I say to you: don’t be complaining about planting, weeding or watering; or feeding and bathing Fido. Enjoy the moment and realize you made the choice to have these commitments. 

I also say to you: don’t criticize or get upset with me because I take the time to enjoy the process. If I was doing it only for the outcome, there wouldn’t be a lot to enjoy.

In addtion, what I don’t understand is this- if you don’t enjoy doing it and it creates a great amount of stress getting it done, why do it? Oh, I’m sure there are many answers to that one, but if you feel you have to make justifications in the first place, its probably one of those things that doesn’t NEED done.

 A quote that came across my igoogle page this last week. This simple quote makes the argument against doing it quickly (and grumpily) just to get it done, “because it has to get done”:

“If you don’t have time to do it right today, when will you have time to do it over tomorrow?”

And, I add: where’s the pleasure in it?   

One last caveat: I am in essence the pot calling the kettle black. I have walked in the above shoes that I am now criticizing (for lack of better negative term). What upsets me is that I (and my hubby) made the choice to slow down and rethink how we do things and how we want to live our lives. Please don’t get upset with me for trying to better my own and my families’ lives. Celebrate with us and if not, at the least recognize that these are the decisions that we made for ourselves.

It does you no good trying to change our minds. Use your energy elsewhere, possibly change your own.

Uno & Dos

I’m finding that 8am in our burgeoning farm life can already be too late. Especially in the summer when its hot like it is now. Any garden, yard or animal work to be done pretty much has to be done by 9am, the latest.

Our two pigs are doing well though. Having only acquired them three weeks ago, I’m amazed at how fast they grow. The learning curve, however, is high. How do we get them to use the water nipple? Should we put a little water with the mash to make it not so sawdusty? While I’m eager and willing to learn, I am glad that my husband grew up here. Even my father-in-law comes in handy. I’m not sure that I could have torn down the existing pigpen, rebuilt it in a day, and fixed the water line that froze and broke this last winter. 

 My oldest daughter, the 8 year old, has insisted that we not name our new additions if we’re going to eat them. My 3 year old keeps telling everyone that we meet that we are going to feed them, love them, chop them up in little pieces, cook them and eat them. She’s serious when she tells them and yet still loves the pigs as much as my 8 year old. Personally, I’m pleased with her attitude and cannot wait until we have our homegrown, corn-mash fed pigs all nice and tidily stacked in our freezer. What a piece of mind knowing where our pork is coming from and what it was fed. I too am like the girls and thoroughly enjoy them multiple times a day. We finally found the one thing that keeps my 8 year old outside for hours at a time. Uno and Dos.

 

 Now to get our own property set up. We hit water at 545ft. two months ago and are simply in the process of electricity. We’ve met the engineer and have our property marked for its pole and support wire. Any day now…. In the meantime we are lucky to be living 1/4mile down the road from our property, where my hubby grew up and to have in-laws that are they themselves getting excited again about animals and living off the land. 

First time I’ve thought of this: maybe our year here waiting hasn’t just been solely for usMaybe our in-laws are taking away more than I’ve imagined. In a positive way. I’m just hoping that my mother-in-law and I will be able to mend our “two women in the same house” relationship when we leave. Something to think on.

Off to spray down the pigpen.

ruralchick out. 

Quick note to say hello and flex my blogger fingers. This is new to me, but it feels right. Catch you after a long night of taking care of a croup baby. ruralchick out.